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Twenty Bucks

12/1/2021

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​by Ed Kindle
There is an interesting phenomenon out there.  It happens to many people every day, mostly men, but they really don’t understand it or are aware of it.  Some are, but with most, it happens on a near unconscious level.  It’s not malicious, it just happens.
What is this strange occurrence?  “It was only $20 bucks.”  Um, wait, what?  Let me explain. 
For the entire time I have been married to my wife, I have been buying and dragging stuff home.  She is pretty used to it by now, and she tunes most of it out.  I have been doing all the decorating in the home since we have been married, and I have gotten pretty good at hiding stuff in plain sight.  I have to be, because I collect a lot of lot of stuff you see, and sooner or later, she notices something new.  Her first comment is usually something like, “That’s cool.”  Or  “Where did you get that?”  Her next question is nearly always, “What did you pay for that?”

Now I realize I am exposing some great hidden male truth here and am likely to catch some flak for it, but I thought it would be fun to write about.  I will deal with and accept any repercussions if they happen.  I suppose the female counterpart would be something like why women go to the bathroom in pairs.  It is something that is usually not known or understood by the other sex.

​The answer that most times leaves my mouth is “Twenty bucks.”  

This happens sometimes even if the object in question was less, but it’s usually more.  Sometimes it’s much more.  Most of the time, the reply is out of my mouth before I even realize it.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my wife is an amazing partner and rarely denies me the opportunity to fulfill my object gathering.  I have no reason to not tell her the true price of anything I drag home, but even saying that, everything was “twenty bucks.”   I know she knows I am full of it and probably lying through my teeth on most occasions, but she loves me and lets it go.
Now this doesn’t always apply to things I purchase for myself.  Many times, I will buy her something she has been trying to find for years, such as a music box that plays “Abendsegen” (she had one years ago in the kids’ room when they were infants).  It took me nearly 5 years to find one, and when I did, she was so excited.  It was great to see her wind it up and listen.  Thankfully she didn’t ask how much, but the answer would have inevitably been “Twenty bucks.”

I have come to find over the years that I am not alone in this behavior.  I have a couple of clients who buy fairly regularly from the store.  When I offer them a receipt, the invariably leave it on the counter or tell me they don’t need a receipt.  They tell me if their wife comes in to ask about what they paid for something, I am to tell their wife, “It was twenty bucks.”

Having done this for years and having lately discussed this phenomenon with my guy friends, we have discovered a flaw in this logic.  That is, if something happens to us, and we shuffle off this mortal coil before our wives, they are going to sell off all our stuff for twenty bucks! 

My friend told me this morning if anything happens to him, I am supposed to find out where he lives and talk to his wife before she sells everything.  You can bet I will, I will offer to buy everything he’s got for twenty bucks!
Visit our contributing author, Ed Kindle at Five Katz Antiques.   
OPEN M, W, F & SAT at 4509 S. Hopkins Avenue in Titusville, Florida. 
Tell him Vintage Finds Magazine sent you!
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    Hi I'm Kathy, owner of Vintage Finds Magazine.  I hope you enjoy  these vintage shops and markets. 

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  • HOME
  • Our Favorite Shops and Markets
    • NORTH FLORIDA >
      • The Other Side Vintage
      • American Vintage Markets
      • Madison Antiques Market & Interiors
      • Hardwood and Honey
      • The Old Farmhouse
    • EAST COAST >
      • Diamond in the Rust Vintage Market
      • Marketplace at Rivertown
      • Dusty Rose Antique Mall
      • Titusville Antique Mall
      • Parrots Cove Mall
      • Indian River Antique Mall
      • Betty's Antiques
      • Dramatiques
      • The Shabby Loft
      • Wildwood Antique Mall
      • Stuart Antique Vintage Art Show
      • Ruffles & Overalls
      • West Palm Beach Antiques Festival
      • The Fine Lion Antiques
    • NORTH CENTRAL FLORIDA >
      • Historic Palatka
      • Olde Inverness Antiques
      • Loreane's Antiques and Treasures
      • Mossy Oaks Antique Mall
      • Aunt Barbee's Attic
      • Diggers Antique Mall
      • Ole Cracker House Antiques
      • Wildings Antiques & Collectibles
      • Two Sisters Vintage
      • Magnolia Junkin Market
      • Wildwood Antique Mall of Wildwood
      • Main Street Antiques & Paradise Orchids
      • Traditions Antique Mall
      • Wildwood Antique Mall of Eustis
      • Through the Years Vintage Market
      • Renninger's Antique Center >
        • Vintage Junkie
      • The Florida Native
    • CENTRAL FLORIDA >
      • The Old Red Barn
      • Wirewood Market
      • The Coop Antiques
      • Apple Core Antiques
      • Central Avenue Antiques
      • Sister's Junktiques
      • Southern Comfort Antiques
      • Bless this Mess
      • The Southern Gentlemen
      • Vintage Warehouse Lakeland
      • Lakeland Antique Mall
      • Dixieland Relics
      • Mercantile at Babson Park
      • The Chippy Barn & Poppies DIY Studio
      • Arcadia Antique Fair
      • Fancy Flea >
        • Fancy Flea Lakeland
        • Fancy Flea Plant City
        • Fancy Flea Bartow
        • Fancy Flea Brooksville
        • Fancy Flea Dade City
    • TAMPA BAY & WEST COAST >
      • Mustard Seed Primitives
      • Two Ole Hens
      • Two Ole Hens Too
      • Robert and Mollybees
      • Rust to Roses
      • Paradise Vintage Market
      • Vintage Chix
      • Antique Marketplace at Bay Area Auction
      • Blessed and Distressed
      • The Cat's Meow
      • Vintage Market Days of South Gulf Coast
      • Collectors Consortium
      • Malus
  • UPCOMING EVENTS
  • OUR ISSUES
    • 2023 >
      • FEB-MAR 2023
    • 2022 >
      • DEC 2022 - JAN 2023
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